tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30344049937186549882024-02-07T10:22:07.445-08:00PSA of the DayDear God, Thank you for stupid people and the cheap entertainment they provide us. AmenUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-50571954687806670902009-08-14T08:00:00.000-07:002009-08-14T08:00:02.240-07:00Got {insert whatever you are selling here}?Intersting fact: The first "Got Milk?" ad was in 1993.<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;">'93 people!!</span><br /><br /><br /><br />Let's stop beating a dead horse and call it good with all the GOT ___? crap, OK? OK!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-53860257041422210752009-08-13T08:00:00.000-07:002009-08-13T08:00:07.523-07:00Bump!I've been trying to be nice about this. Give you a nice buffer of 9 months or so but if you drive past me with a VOTE 2008 bumper sticker - you're going to get something thrown at you!<br /><br /><br /><br />Either you are lazy or stupid...<br /><br /><br /><br />Take it off, take it off, <strong>for the love of God</strong>, take it off!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-33789773123174100892009-08-12T11:03:00.000-07:002009-08-12T11:07:07.815-07:00You're So VainYou have your name on your license plate.<br /><br />Hmm.<br /><br />That's original.<br /><br /><strong>Most personalized license plates are stupid.</strong><br /><br />I did see one funny one... it was on a Mini Cooper and said "ACTULSZ"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-11911989397980153912009-08-11T09:00:00.000-07:002009-08-11T15:11:56.612-07:00StatusSo when you were engaged it was about the wedding...<br /><br />Then you got married and it's about your 'hubby'<br /><br />Then you got knocked up. Surprise! All about being 'preggo'<br /><br />Now it's about your kid. <br /><br />Get a life!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-10528196593936452102009-08-05T08:00:00.000-07:002009-08-11T15:15:44.601-07:00Hospital Don'tsIf your sister just had a baby. I'm talking literally pushed the kid out less than 3 hours ago, DO NOT load up your three snot nosed kids under the age of 5 that just had the swine flu and go visit them at the hospital.<br /><br />Then insist that all 3 kids take turns holding the baby. Especially when a couple of them are nose pickers.<br /><br />Mom just went through 24 hours of labor, didn't sleep and pushed a child out of her pelvis. I'm sure she is up to visitors <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">spreading</span> germs to her newborn and keeping her awake.<br /><br />Good idea, really.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-7087825797985660052009-08-04T08:00:00.000-07:002009-08-04T08:00:02.068-07:00Sweet House!Oh wait, you live with your parents? <br /><br />You're how old again? <br /><br />Right...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-30440394399811657942009-08-03T08:00:00.000-07:002009-08-03T08:00:01.832-07:00"Text" TalkOMG! Is ne1 els srsly annyd w/ppl abbrv evrthng!!<br /><br />Holy freaking crap - I swear my eyeballs are bleeding. I'm sorry, when I get any type of communication that is missing that many vowels I think you have suffered brain damage. Is it really that much easier to type ne1 rather than anyone? <br /><br />I don't like texting like that and I reallllly don't like reading emails like that. <br /><br />It's called English and I'm a big fan.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-7198038089940881132009-07-31T08:55:00.001-07:002009-07-31T08:55:00.799-07:00Yikes!<strong>STOP</strong> using tanning beds!! Apparently they are as <a href="http://news.aol.com/health/article/tanning-beds-are-as-deadly-as-arsenic/593242"><span style="font-size:180%;">dangerous as arsenic</span></a><span style="font-size:180%;">!?!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-90118614883953264852009-07-30T08:00:00.000-07:002009-07-30T08:00:02.893-07:00Not SmartIf you are in a power chair because you are obese, it's probably not the best idea to use said power chair to drive to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">McDonald's</span>.<br /><br />I'm just <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">say'n</span>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-7852750760398121172009-07-29T08:55:00.000-07:002009-07-29T13:25:00.282-07:00Try Again.Unless you are farming, gardening, working on equipment, or under the age of 2 - you should not under any circumstances be wearing overalls.<br /><br />Trust me on this one.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-42118277960750962422009-07-28T12:53:00.000-07:002009-07-28T12:55:17.334-07:00How to look like white trash in 3 easy steps:1. Cut the arms off of your own shirts. <br /><br />2. Bring your 18 months old child to the grocery store in nothing but a diaper.<br /><br />3. Buy nothing but beer and butterfingers. <br /><br />Congratulations!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-86695407622788323212009-07-27T15:00:00.000-07:002009-07-27T15:02:25.654-07:00Nope, Not a WordI don't care how many times you say it. How you use it. What freaking language you speak...<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Prolly</span> is not a word. <br /><p>It's probably. It's bad enough to pronounce it "prolly", but to actually type out those letters? </p><p>My ears AND my eyes hurt. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-5262519181432191762009-07-23T08:07:00.000-07:002009-07-23T08:07:01.124-07:00You're Trying To Be Funny, Right?Because no one would seriously put:<br /><br />"P.s. Gifts welcome!" <br /><br />On the bottom of an invitation to a baby shower. <br /><br />For your FIFTH baby? You've already got 2 boys and 2 girls. Your husband is an attorney. Really "gifts welcome"? <br /><br />Sorry I won't be attending.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-19568941546140908292009-07-22T08:59:00.001-07:002009-07-22T09:02:55.625-07:00Photo OpWhen you are over the age of 30. Married with kids. Drive an SUV. Aren't a "gangsta". Go to church every Sunday. <br /><br />Stop posing like a douche bag wanna be in every. single. picture. ever. taken.<br /><br />Seriously. How many times can you throw the peace sign? Honestly? <br /><br />It's especially priceless to try and look like a thug when you are holding your baby girl. Really?<br /><br />Sorry you have the 'little man' complex but looking like a jackass in pictures isn't helping your case.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-84808701967721284712009-07-20T11:12:00.001-07:002009-07-20T11:17:05.813-07:00A special message:Dear 16 year olds.<br /><br />Stop having sex. Really.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">{Unless you plan on placing your baby with an adoptive couple. Then carry on.}</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-22894780556493626082009-07-15T20:00:00.000-07:002009-07-22T09:05:01.600-07:00Used Car SalesmenSeriously. Should anyone over the age of say, 14 go by the name "Bobby"?<br /><br />Like I'm going to give a 50+ year old man that goes by Bobby $30,000.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-72976287251562795282009-07-14T10:58:00.000-07:002009-07-20T10:59:47.461-07:00Parenting 101It's never to soon to let the TV babysit your kids. <br /><br />Bonus points if you can figure out how to prop their bottle up and stick them in front of the TV at say, 3 months?<br /><br />Score!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-13244871741427718142009-07-08T09:51:00.000-07:002009-07-08T09:51:01.191-07:00Chew, Chew, Chew your food.Since when did chewing with your mouth closed become uncool?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-29520374349079697232009-07-07T11:49:00.000-07:002009-07-07T11:50:24.898-07:00Works Like a CharmFlirting with the Taco Bell drive thru guy will score you extra hot sauce. <br /><br />Totally worth it!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-56864157065055018522009-07-01T13:12:00.001-07:002009-07-01T13:17:54.571-07:00Selling Online Rocks!But, could you take 4 seconds and make sure your pictures are all upright?<br /><br />Tiny pictures of whatever you're selling are crap enough, but to leave them sideways, really?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-72732190973049641272009-06-30T08:27:00.000-07:002009-06-29T09:22:12.635-07:00I Went To a Rodeo.Yes I'm from the country.<br /><br />Um, people were walking around in flip-flops and sandals. Really? You don't realize the "dirt" you are walking around in is probably 60% horse, cow and bull crap?<br /><br />I hope you showered before you got into bed...<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ew</span>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-53787939977403139982009-06-29T09:00:00.000-07:002009-06-29T09:00:57.976-07:00H1N1 (aka: Swine Flu)If you are sick, STAY HOME!<br /><br />Don't show up to work/church/public then complain that you think you have the flu. Are you freaking kidding me? We wonder why this is spreading so fast? STOP SPREADING IT!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-1628609851465074552009-06-27T16:39:00.001-07:002009-06-27T16:44:26.421-07:00MannersSorry I gave you the impression that your children were welcome to run around my house while you sat on your ass and told me how nice and clean my house <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">was</span>. <br /><br />Thank you for leaving while I vacuumed Doritos out of my couch cousins and wiped fingers prints off my walls. <br /><br />Sorry I gave you the impression my house was child proof (seriously? Do I have young children? NO)<br /><br />When you are invited to an event at someones home, ask if you can bring your children first just don't show up with a 3 year old. If you must bring children to an adult event - WATCH them! Don't let them run wild!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-89247341313072371512009-06-26T07:59:00.000-07:002009-06-26T07:59:03.605-07:00While we're on the subject of bizarre names,lets stop changing the spelling of perfectly acceptable, normal, classic names. <br /><br />Alyviah? Seriously? What's wrong with Olivia? <br /><br />Nikaloas? Huh? You were too good for Nickolas?<br /><br />And honest to God someone took the bass akwards name Nevaeh (Heaven backwards) and flucked up that spelling? Nahveigha? WHA??? WHY?<br /><br />Hope your kids are smart because they are going to be spelling their names for people for the rest of their lives.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3034404993718654988.post-1869483375214344142009-06-25T07:55:00.000-07:002009-06-25T07:59:48.405-07:00Stop Making Up Baby NamesStop. Please. <br /><br />When you think of a name for your child, imagine that child in various jobs. Can you imagine, "This is the CEO of our company, Chevy." NO!<br /><br />"Here is out top salesperson, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Pernille</span>." How the F do you even say that?<br /><br />Are you freaking kidding me? You are grooming your child to become a drug addicted petty thief. <br /><br />Unless you really don't like your child and you are looking forward to them being teased in Kindergarten because they can't spell or pronounce their own name. <br /><br />Good luck with that!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0