Tis' The Season

Don't donate crap that should be thrown away.

"Hey honey? You know those gross old slippers that I keep trying to make you throw away? I gave them to the Salvation Army, Ok!"

Bad. Idea.

Don't Expect Fine Dining From Fast Food

You asked for no onions but got onions? It's a conspiracy! What if you were highly allergic?! They are trying to kill you!

You should stomp in, demand to speak to a manager and then proceed to scream and call everyone idiots while throwing in some derogatory racial comments.

I'm sorry, what's that? You'll come off looking like a psycho if you do that?

Exactly. Chill.

Taco Bell employees make minimum wage. I'm sure they would have happily made you a new 89 cent burrito if you would have kindly explained what happened.

Dogs

Wow, something your mom should have taught you:

Pick up after yourself.

When you are a pet owner this means:

Pick up your dog's shit!

Thank you.